Friday, 15 February 2008
Saturday, 9 February 2008
Friday, 8 February 2008
Herbert Part ... Unknown
So again it seems it was mission time, the squirrels where getting geared up and slightly stoned as i recall, and herbert had perfected his flying geralph attack. It was time the stage set the mission clear, rescue ... well i say rescue i mean steal a priceless artifact from the manor of the pertinant Lord Farshar. <- took me ages to come up with that * anyway so they set off, by this point in the organizations history we had been going for a while and were now failry well off so we had custom built a rather strange hovercrafty type vehicle which to be fair was more crafty than hovery but never mind 2cm apparently still counts as hovering. Nehoo .... *editors note - writing this stuff is harder than u might first imagine, firstly you have to think ..... * editor has now been shot.
So the gang headed of, this was supposed to be a walkthrough nice easy job, prefeably with little to no violence, that annoyed the squirrels but hey they were part stoned so they agreed. When they arrived at the manor they found a slight snag waiting for them, the place had just been demolished to make way for a bypass. *see douglas adams* now this normally would be a problem with a bunch of drugged up squirells craving munchies and death and herbert being well uncharacteristically placid, but quickly i had an idea, i sent them all to look in the ruins of the manor to search for the artifact. however unknown to me was the small fact that it had all been a rather large trap to lure us there and no sooner had the first squirrel jumped the fence did all hell break loose (* not literally all hell as that would be a bit of an overkill but u get the picture, the author here paints us a seralistical view of a warzo. .... * Editor has been shot again.
Laser mounted turrets and large angry mongoose were unleashed on the squirells and herbert ... this was going to get nasty. I could describe to u in great detail the blood and carnage that the squirrels caused as everyone know as stoned squirrel should never be annoyed, however ill spare u the hour you would spend throwing up after u had read it and just tell u this, painting the town red got nothing on this. carnage. what I coudnt figure out was why herbert was just wandering thru this apparent warzone totally ignorant of his sorroundings and i suppose more importantly who had set us up? what was going on? and where the hell did the squirrels get there weed from? i mean seriously who sells to a squirrel?
find out this and more in next times edition of herbert
So the gang headed of, this was supposed to be a walkthrough nice easy job, prefeably with little to no violence, that annoyed the squirrels but hey they were part stoned so they agreed. When they arrived at the manor they found a slight snag waiting for them, the place had just been demolished to make way for a bypass. *see douglas adams* now this normally would be a problem with a bunch of drugged up squirells craving munchies and death and herbert being well uncharacteristically placid, but quickly i had an idea, i sent them all to look in the ruins of the manor to search for the artifact. however unknown to me was the small fact that it had all been a rather large trap to lure us there and no sooner had the first squirrel jumped the fence did all hell break loose (* not literally all hell as that would be a bit of an overkill but u get the picture, the author here paints us a seralistical view of a warzo. .... * Editor has been shot again.
Laser mounted turrets and large angry mongoose were unleashed on the squirells and herbert ... this was going to get nasty. I could describe to u in great detail the blood and carnage that the squirrels caused as everyone know as stoned squirrel should never be annoyed, however ill spare u the hour you would spend throwing up after u had read it and just tell u this, painting the town red got nothing on this. carnage. what I coudnt figure out was why herbert was just wandering thru this apparent warzone totally ignorant of his sorroundings and i suppose more importantly who had set us up? what was going on? and where the hell did the squirrels get there weed from? i mean seriously who sells to a squirrel?
find out this and more in next times edition of herbert
Herbert part 5 1/2
We were there sourrounded by flying ants being attacked by furry spiders and ravenous chimps .... What could we do? where could we run ? It was then i looked up and saw the 2 small shapes departing from what looked like a flying ostritch ?!?!?
You can imagine my confusion ... Hurtling towards the ground at 9.8 m/s was the two squirrels they had escaped their captivity and were now armed and well slightly P****D OFF !!! At this point one of the chimps fell to the ground in mid leap as herbert gun in hand and a sword on his back lept out from a bush and blasted half the chimps and spiders away.
Now last time i had seen herbert the mission had gone bad and herbert had been shot ... so again thouroughly confused
You can imagine my confusion ... Hurtling towards the ground at 9.8 m/s was the two squirrels they had escaped their captivity and were now armed and well slightly P****D OFF !!! At this point one of the chimps fell to the ground in mid leap as herbert gun in hand and a sword on his back lept out from a bush and blasted half the chimps and spiders away.
Now last time i had seen herbert the mission had gone bad and herbert had been shot ... so again thouroughly confused
Dancing Albanian Squirrels
First of all i better explain about the dancing albanian squirrels .... well thats that done.
There squirrels and from alabania and they dance what more can u say.
Neways we found out that the squirrels were being persecuted so we sent in the hedgehogs. At this point i should note that the hedgehogs are excellent fighters something to do with those spines being detachable and filled with poison. So we sent in the squirrels to "help" them the band played and killed them all after they had stopped dancing except 2 which i ordered the squirrels not to kill ... so we brought them back .... its never that simple is it ... they squirrels also excellent fighters recognized herbert authority but not the hedgehogs so they slaughtered them all ... a minor setback i relaise but hey we've got dancing albanian squirrels so who cares .... neways wen herbert and the squirrels tried to get through customs there was a slight problem ... herbert he was a black sheep and everyone knows what kinda discrimination they face ... so the squirrels geared up and masacred everone .... eventually wen they stopped the death total ran as follows ... 30 humans, 2 dogs, 1 ant (accident), 16 Gorrilaz (ask noodle), 1 hyenia (it woudnt stop laughing) and 9 1/2 hedgehogs (theyve still got the head of one) so bitta warzone really but we've got them all back safely well -ish.
There squirrels and from alabania and they dance what more can u say.
Neways we found out that the squirrels were being persecuted so we sent in the hedgehogs. At this point i should note that the hedgehogs are excellent fighters something to do with those spines being detachable and filled with poison. So we sent in the squirrels to "help" them the band played and killed them all after they had stopped dancing except 2 which i ordered the squirrels not to kill ... so we brought them back .... its never that simple is it ... they squirrels also excellent fighters recognized herbert authority but not the hedgehogs so they slaughtered them all ... a minor setback i relaise but hey we've got dancing albanian squirrels so who cares .... neways wen herbert and the squirrels tried to get through customs there was a slight problem ... herbert he was a black sheep and everyone knows what kinda discrimination they face ... so the squirrels geared up and masacred everone .... eventually wen they stopped the death total ran as follows ... 30 humans, 2 dogs, 1 ant (accident), 16 Gorrilaz (ask noodle), 1 hyenia (it woudnt stop laughing) and 9 1/2 hedgehogs (theyve still got the head of one) so bitta warzone really but we've got them all back safely well -ish.
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